But for us gossip shills, the Kardashians are fun to write about, if only because they force us to find inventive new ways to describe the process of whoring oneself out for fame, attention, and money. Plus, they’re probably the only celebrities on here for whom I don’t feel even a twinge of conscience about mocking.
With that in mind, let’s grab some popcorn, sit back, and revel in the supreme bitchiness of the latest person to talk smack about Pimperalissimo Kris Jenner.
Speaking to
In Touch – because he wants to make sure the Kardashians actually read it, or, uh, at least have someone read it to them – one of Kris’ former lovers basically says that Kris is a superficial, materialistic, awful human being who raised her daughters to be just like their mom.
“In an exclusive interview with In Touch, Kris’ former lover, soccer player-turned-animator Todd Waterman, 46, reveals that he spent lots of time around Kris and Robert’s three girls, Kourtney, Kim and Khloe. And while Kim ‘didn’t seem to mind’ that he was so close to her mom, Todd saw first-hand how deeply affected she was by her mother’s questionable values – which went way beyond their illicit romance, as he recalls.
“‘It was a steady, superficial diet of what to wear, who your friends are, where to be seen and what car to drive,’ explains Todd, whose affair with Kris went on for many months, continuing even after Robert caught them in the act. ‘Early on, it was made clear to me that Kris desired a celebrity lifestyle.’
“From the start, Todd says, Kris clearly prized fame, money and sex above all else. And, unlike her sisters, Kim never once questioned her mother, who Todd remembers ‘had great expectations,’ even back then, of molding the pretty little girl into her own image…
“‘Kim is Kris 30 years ago,’ he said. ‘That’s not going to change.’” [In Touch via CB.]
Sure, you can argue that Todd’s a bitter ex who’s just trying to make a buck off his old extra-marital affair. And if this were about anyone else, I’d totally agree with you! But it’s not. It’s about a woman who has no compunction about prostituting her daughters and maligning the family name so she can live out her own fantasies of being wealthy and famous.
And though most of what Todd revealed was completely self-evident, what’s truly special about this description is that it makes Dina Lohan look like Mother of the Decade in comparison. If nothing else, that’s Kris’ most impressive accomplishment.
THE REST OF THE WEB
Gerard Butler has no idea who Brandi Glanville is (I Need My Fix)
Snoop Dogg has some advice for Kris Humphries (Dlisted)
Bradley Cooper continues to lose gossip cred (Lainey Gossip)
Gaga’s boyfriend just wants her to be normal (I’m Not Obsessed)
Ryan Gosling heats up Thailand (Celebuzz)
oh dear...I thought the photo WAS of Michael Jackson...oh dear.
Posted by: Yellow...Rose...from..Texas | 02/01/2012 at 08:09 PM
Oh and I was never a big fan but honestly, MJ was prettier and more feminine
Posted by: Spyke | 01/30/2012 at 03:15 PM
Oh please the only reason people are still reading about them is you keep writing about them. We read it then beg you to stop. STOP!. People stop feeding the kartrashian machine. Don't buy magazines with them on the cover, watch the show or buy their garbage. and linZie, I'm right there with you. wtf indeed!
Posted by: Spyke | 01/30/2012 at 03:14 PM
This type of women (human beings) -beautiful or not - have nothing to do during a regular day. So they spend their (human) natural inquisitive minds looking for an outlet. Put them in situations where they need to really survive (the 99% of women on Earth) and they would age like the rest of humanity - inevitable biological degradation. In the end, we all return to the earth from where we came from.
Posted by: Fernando Gonçalves | 01/30/2012 at 10:07 AM
OMG I thought that was Adam Lambert cross with MJ.
Posted by: Not a FAN | 01/30/2012 at 09:02 AM
Being of a more 'plain-Jane' type, I fail to see why pretty women feel the need to try and top nature. Regardless of personality, Kris J. is (was) very pretty. NO amount of surgery, botox, injections of whatever kind, is going to give back her youth - so why the need for the disfiguring procedures ... to answer my own question, it all goes to self-image - poor Kris, she probably imagines those rubber lips make her look attractive instead of like the 'gobsmacked' grouper she resembles.
And the earrings and tie - wtf?
Posted by: linZie | 01/29/2012 at 01:53 AM