There has never been any doubt in my mind that some things are better left unknown. Exactly what’s in Hot Wings & Blue Cheese Doritos, for example. Or what my cat really thinks of me when I catch him giving me the stink eye from across the room.

Add ‘whether or not you are blood relatives with your own spouse’ to that list.

The braintrust over at People Magazine are flagging an item that claims actor Kevin Bacon and longtime wife, actress Kyra Sedgwick are actually distinct cousins and that the revelation comes courtesy of the Sunday night PBS show on genealogy, Finding Your Roots.

Shudder. Honestly, if this item had appeared a few days ago I would have sworn it was an April Fool’s joke. I mean Kevin Bacon of all people – he of the ‘six degrees of Kevin Bacon’ phenom that suggests all of Hollywood is linked to the Footloose actor by six steps? That guy is actually related to his own wife? Jeesh that’s rich.

Anyway as People helpfully adds, the program – which uses DNA searches – is hosted by Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr., who, reports, says the married couple “are indeed distant cousins. So talk about six degrees of separation, right?”

As for what good all this uprooting of family trees can do, Gates is also quoted as saying, “I want … Americans [to] realize how united we are as a people. … There’s so much animosity … and one of the things that I want the series to do is to show that, deep down, we are all Americans. We’ve been sleeping together from the very beginning of the country.”

Mr. Gates might want to rethink that quote; you can practically hear our American cousins throwing up just a little in their mouths right now at the thought of that. Or maybe that was me…

Seriously though, I bet if you asked Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick if they had any hunch they were connected on a deeper, almost primordial level, they’d cop to it. Married for 23 years in Hollywood? On par with alien invasion on the probability scale… and maybe even slightly less likely than that.